On Shavuous, I will be reading from the Book of Ruth. I will also be giving a D'Var Torah on what my "aha" experience that led me to my choice.
This task has sent me on a lenghty bout of reflection and questioning. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? What could Hashem possibly have in store for me.
One of the most powerful realizations I had was, looking back at the first 30 years of my life, all the most memorable, powerful, and life-changing events/moments in my life have been unexpected and unplanned by me. That goes to show just how much control we have over our lives and their directions.
I was heard someone say that G-d gave us gifts and talents, and we are merely the managers of these gifts. Life is a gift; it is enjoyed on borrowed time, with a lot of guidance and influence from Hashem. Once we stop fighting that aspect of our lives, peace can return. For an anxious personality like me, this lesson truly resonates with me and has made me a much happier, productive person.
I'm not sure if that will be part of my Shavuous thought, but it is certainly what is resonating with me tonight.