Almost Kosher

Deal!

2010-01-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

Are you a busy business owner who is short on time? Do you wish you could find a college-educated, hard working assistant to help you on a part-time basis? Good news--now you can!

A 2-year old company, Secretary in Israel, will place with you an American virtual executive assistant to help you with a range of your administrative and marketing tasks. They can do everything from: making & confirming appointments, booking travel, sending gifts and cards to your clients, updating your Twitter, LinkedIn, Blog, Facebook, & YouTube accounts, and much more.

To learn more about how you can get assistance in just 5 - 10 hours/week, visit them online: virtual executive assistant.

One year later...

2009-09-28T19:41:00.000-07:00

My previous post was almost a year ago, at the end of Yom Kippur. Here I am in the same spot, just breaking the fast and blogging.

I had a unique experience during these high holidays: I did not need the services very much. I have been on my own path of taking stock of my life, reflecting, and figuring out where I am in life. This seemed to satisfy my soul's need for reflection, as I found no satisfaction sitting in services during these holidays so far.

It's funny how experiences can change from year to year; I wondered if this is what many other Jews experience - the ebb and flow of services feeding some part of them and then not.

In spite of this, the holidays themselves have been meaningful so far...in particular, visiting the mikeveh before RH was fantastic.

Looking forward to Sukkot. Shavua Tov, everyone.

G'mar Chatimah Tovah

2008-10-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

As Yom Kippur draws closer, a week of reflection, soul searching, and evaluation comes to a close for me. The high holidays this year took on a deeper meaning for me, as I grew in my understanding of the period and also reflected on my growth in the last year.

This past year has been filled many high points that I cherish. What I cherish more, however, are the struggles in which I've engaged in the last year. I grew so much this year, in my understand of where my life is going and what Hashem has in store for me.

My sense of gratitude for my life has grown exponentially in the past year, and that includes appreciating on a deeper level all the wonderful people in my life. Thank you to everyone reading this who has supported and loved me.

For anyone reading this whom I hurt or wronged, I do apologize sincerely.

May you all have a meaningful fast.

Jews and power

2008-09-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

Over the summer, I took some time off from blogging. After my wonderful Bar Mitzvah experience, I needed a breather to focus on some other things over the summer. It is good to be back.

(The following is a collection of reflections that I had during Shabbat services yesterday).

I recently finished reading the book, Jews and Power. It explores the positions of power Jews have held throughout history, and our often tenuous relationship with power, whether through oppressions, conspiracy theories inflating the power we hold, and how Jews generally view power and its responsibilities.

I was thinking about this book yesterday in shul, when I met Sen. Joe Lieberman. I noticed hum davening in the crowd, apparently in town for a family wedding. When our eyes caught as we passed each other, I extended my hand and wished the Senator a Good Shabbos.

Upon reflecting on this moment, I began to think about my access to people in power ever since I became Jewish. Instantly, an uncomfortable feeling crept in, when I realized I have met more people in power since I joined the Jewish community, than before in my previous communities. With this thought, was I being besieged by the myth of how powerful Jews were, and reinforcing that within my head? What does power mean to me, and what does it meant to have access to it?

The small size of the Jewish community means that, mathematicaly, I will come into contact with various folks who are in powerful positions, just like I will meet average people. What does it mean, though, when our community has a disproportionate amount of people in power, relative to our size? Are "they" correct about the Jews greedy need for power?

Not exactly. Judaism, with all its flaws, incarnations, and diverse expressions, hold the practice of education, study, and debate as strongholds of the culture. It also says community is the pillar through which we all thrive. What occurs in the Jewish community is what happens when you invest energy and time into your family and community. Judaism is a model to other communities to show how they can thrive if they hold similar values, and many communities that do succeed as much as the Jews do.

Sen. Lieberman's presence at shul yesterday was not an example of the Jews having too much power, but instead a representation of the kind of people a strong community that values education and ethical self-realization can produce. While many are (rightfully, IMHO) angry with the Senator right now, no one can say he is not brilliant, a wonderful public servant, and someone who stands on his own two feet. This is exactly the kind of person Judaism strives to produce.

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

2008-09-14T10:31:00.001-07:00

Love it!

D'Var Torah

2008-06-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since my last post; I've failed to mention that my Bar Mitzvah is coming up in two weeks. Woot! Below is a draft of my D'Var Torah; I would love to hear viewpoints from my (few) faithful readers.

Please forgive spelling and grammer; such edits have yet to be made.

This week’s Torah potion tells the story of 12 spies going into Canaan, the Promised Land, and reporting their findings to the Israelite people. 10 spies tell stories of a nation with a strong military and believe that the Jews will be grasshoppers in a land of giants. The other two spies, Joshua and Caleb, believe their people will be victorious in taking over the land.

The typical interpretation of this story is that the 10 spies told false, cowardly tales, in order to dissuade any movement into Canaan. Joshua and Caleb are telling the truth and are eventually seen as the heroes once the Israelites reach the Promised Land. The end result of the story frames these two sets of leaders into two camps: those that were right and those that were wrong.

But, what if these other spies were not wrong? As the story progresses, the community falls into panic, questioning the leadership of Moses, and Hashem banishes them to the desert. What if they were simply testing the Israelites with these fearful tales and the community just was not ready to move on? Perhaps Joshua and Caleb were the youthful, war mongers, so ready for a fight and a challenge, that they were ready to put their community in harms way to reach the Promised Land?
This story makes me wonder, how does history declare a winner and a loser? I was always taught that history is written by the winners. If this is true, then how will current events be viewed in 20 or 30 years?

If Iraq is a burgeoning Democracy, akin to Turkey and Israel, will the 2003 U.S.-led invasion be seen as a victorious first step to freedom and peace? What happens to the dissenting viewpoints expressed by leaders opposed to this invasion? Are they seen in the same lens as the 10 spies, as simply frightened people who make up stories to keep us from victory? Or are they raising real concerns of the moment that are washed away when we finally “win,” whatever winning defined by?

In my role a community leader, I find that I constantly need to be aware of why I come to certain decisions and look internally for how my past experiences shape these viewpoints. I often need to push myself to see beyond my limited thinking and put myself in a new, uncomfortable direction. Perhaps this was happening with the spies who spun these tall tales because their community has been so traumatized by both slavery and liberation; perhaps they themselves were traumatized and could not envision a time that the Israelites would not only have freedom, but complete dominion over the Holy Land.

Instead of viewing the 10 spies as wrong, perhaps they were embracing the complexity of the current situation. Perhaps the youthfulness of Caleb and Joshua kept them from understanding this complexity. I believe there is such value and wisdom to embracing current complexity and questioning a decision; unfortunately, the images drawn in our histories do not involve explaining the real doubts that community leaders struggle with.

In craving a sense of comfort and security, we create black and white labels and finality. It is so easy to define who was right and who was wrong; who won and who lost. For me, the most valuable lesson in this Torah portion is this: our historical interpretations often do not embrace the complexities of situations that community leaders face. Instead, it focuses on the victories and the heroes that helped usher them in, and paints those who hesitate as cowards without merit. Perhaps those that are thoughtful and not quick to act would have offered in a more victorious outcome, much like the quiet child in the classroom who offers wise words when she does choose to speak. Perhaps our history and stories would be richer if the lesson was that both support and dissent for a historical decision are necessary for eventual victory.

Is Israel Finished?

2008-04-13T17:54:00.001-07:00

While the cover is unnecessarily provocative, the Atlantic Monthly has a good article exploring the issues facing Israel and she turns 60.

You can read the article here.

I (heart) Sfat

2008-04-13T02:45:00.000-07:00

Upon returning from my recent trip to Israel, the most common question asked of me was, "What was your favorite place you visited?" It appears the most typical answer to give is Jerusalem. While I loved the belly button of the universe, I found it a great struggle to exist in that intense space. I wasn't prepared for its intensity and it completely threw me off. It wasn't a particularly enjoyable experience, in the sense of pleasure.

Instead, the most pleasurable point on the trip was our visit to Sfat, the birthplace of Jewish mysticism. From the moment I got off the bus, I knew I was in a special place, unique from the rest. The hidden pathways through the town were amazing and the stories of a synagogue appearing after men fasted and prayed for three days and nights were inspiring. Imagine the hope and optimism a person feels if they truly believe a beautiful synagogue can appear from praying and fasting. Amazing, if you ask me...

Sfat was hit hard during the 2006 Lebanon war. The citizens have rallied, however, and are continuing to rebuild their community, putting the pieces together one day at a time.

The air is different in Sfat, as it is one of the highest points in Israel. A mystical presence fills the air there, and it changed a part of me that I cannot yet explain. I was also fortunate to find a beautiful tallis from a shop there, that I will wear for the first time at my Bar Mitzvah in June.

The 60 Bloggers project is co-production of Jewlicious.com and the Let My People Sing Festival. It is published daily for 60 days to celebrate Israel’s 60 birthday.

60 Bloggers Project

2008-04-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

My friend, Rabbi Yonah Bookstein, is working with some folks on a blogging project for Israel's upcoming birthday. 60 bloggers will be spending 60 days to celebrate the 60th birthday of the State of Israel.

I am excited to have been selected as one of the bloggers. I'll be posting next week, but folks should check the blog every day.

Check it out here

The 60 Bloggers project is part of the Let My People Sing Festival, published daily for 60 days to celebrate Israel's 60 Birthday.

More Israel Blogging - The Security Fence

2008-04-05T17:18:00.001-07:00

After a computer meltdown shortly after we returned home, we have a new computer and I am ready to get back to blogging.

One of the most intense experiences of the trip was being in Jerusalem. I felt the fervor, history, culture clashes, and conflict in the air and in my bones. It was an amazing experience; one in which I felt both incredibly uncomfortably and incredibly alive.

We spent a good deal of the trip discussing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. We also had a good view of the security fence from our hotel room, shown in the picture here.

I fully support the fence being erected, but couldn't help feeling a sense of grief, seeing Jerusalem being divided. Words can't describe the emotions I felt about why the wall had to exist and what it represented for both the Israelis and Palestinians. Our tour guide, a native from Jerusalem, compassionately said the fence is a symbol of the traumas experienced by both the Israelis and Palestinians.

This is just one of many examples demonstrating the complexity of the conflict, and the lack of simple, black-and-white answers available to solve it. This lack of resolution can be felt throughout Jerusalem and this is what the fence represents to me.

Israel trip blogging

2008-03-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

">" border="0" alt="" />

I had every intention of doing a regular blog entry during my travels in the Middle East. Unfortunately, the experience was so intense and the trip to structured, not much energy was left for blogging. I needed to simply experience the trip, digest it, and reflect on on it once I returned home.

Instead of going chronological through the trip, I am going through pictures that resonate with me right now and telling those stories.

The above picture is of me laying tefillin at the Temple wall. This picture was taken on our second day in Jerusalem. I had yet to get over my jet lag, we had delved into some deep, philosophical discussions that day, and I was becoming overhwelmed with the intensity of Jerusalem. I was feeling the energy, fervor, history, culture clashes, and conflicts that exist there. I found it very unsettling and didn't know what to do with it. I, frankly, still don't.

However, laying tefillin at the wall was an incredible experience. To participate in an ancient ritual at the holiest of holy sites is indescribable. The Rabbi who helped me was quite nice and impressed with how much I knew how to do.

This experience of praying at the wall settled me a bit, and I was better able to take in Jerusalem after that moment. I felt more connected to the people, the land, and myself after that. I still found everything overwhelming, but was better able to take it all in. It is difficult to describe.

Israel-bound

2008-02-16T19:00:00.000-08:00

I am off to Israel tomorrow for 10 days, and then to Jordan and Egypt. I am excited nervous, and mostly in awe of where I am going to be the next few weeks.

I do not know what to expect from the experience, but I expect it will be like nothing I have ever done before.

I hope to check in here during my trip, as internet access is plentiful there.

Until then....

Israelity Tour in Seattle

2008-01-31T10:18:00.000-08:00

The Israelity tour begins in Seattle next week. This should be an awesome show, showcasing some top notch acts from Israel. Some information from the promoter is below:

Our tour will feature performances by Subliminal, Israel's #1 selling rap artist, and members of the T.A.C.T. Family (kind of like Subliminal's Wu-Tang Clan), as well as reggae-funk band Coolooloosh and singer-songwriter Michelle Citrin, a.k.a. Rosh Hashanah Girl or "the lil' grrl with a big sound," as she's known. The shows are hosted by comic Mo Mandel, a Bay Area resident and Birthright alumnus who was recently seen on Comedy Central's "Open Mic Fight."

The big concert kicks off at the Nectar Lounge on Thursday, February 7th. Doors open at 8 p.m., must be at least 18 to enter. Tickets are $20 at the door, or you can pay $15 by sending an RSVP here. See you there!

To read more about this show, see the following links:

Israelity Tour Blog
Israelity Tour Web Site

Chinese food on Christmas

2007-12-18T11:28:00.001-08:00

Kosher or not?

2007-12-10T08:34:00.000-08:00

We spent the weekend in Vancouver, B.C. celebrating Chanukkah with the in-laws. My Mother-In-Law made the most delicious latkes I've had in years. She also served a wonderful brisket on the side, which sparked an interesting question for me. If she served tofu, dairy-free sour cream with it, would it be considered kosher? I struggle with the ruling against mixing chicken and dairy, because the explanations I've received seem solely based on perceptions of what you are eating.

This question brought some interesting, varying answers. They were:

1. A Chabad Rabbi told me that it would be kosher to serve dairy-free sour cream with the latkes and brisket, as long as *everyone* knows that there was no dairy.

2. My good friend Yonah (a Chassidic Rabbi) said that the meal itself is kosher, but that the mixture would be forbidden under the law of Maris Ayin, the law against misleading people. He seemed open to the idea that, if everyone was informed of the dairy-free content, then it would be permissable.

3. My husband said the prohibition comes more from how it affects the community. Most Americans would believe, "If I am eating something kosher, what does it matter what someone else thinks?" The laws were developed in a different society, however. It was (is) a Jew's responsibility to help keep his community members in touch with the mitzvot. So, if a community member sees you eating a cheeseburger (even if it is soy cheese), you are putting them in an uncomfortable position to feel like they have to correct you. If they did correct you, and they realize they were wrong, you just set them up for an embarrassing situation. Since it is forbidden to embarrass someone, you avoid even the perception of eating non-kosher food.

These varying answers are so interesting, and point to the diversity of opinions on this topic. What do you think?

Iran So Far Away

2007-09-30T07:47:00.000-07:00

Shimon Peres and Madonna

2007-09-16T10:53:00.001-07:00

Really? Does Shimon Peres have nothing better to do than meet Madonna?

Madonna toasted the Jewish new year with Israeli President Shimon Peres and declared herself an ‘ambassador for Judaism,’ local newspapers reported Sunday.
The singer, who is not Jewish, arrived in Israel Wednesday on the eve of Jewish new year to attend a conference on Kabbalah or Jewish mysticism.
Madonna met Peres at his official Jerusalem residence on Saturday evening and the two exchanged gifts, with Madonna receiving a lavishly bound copy of the Old Testament.
She gave Peres a volume of ‘The Book of Splendor,’ the guiding text of Kabbalah, inscribed ‘To Shimon Peres, the man I admire and love, Madonna,’ the Yediot Ahronot daily reported.
A Peres aide confirmed the meeting but had no details.
‘You don’t know how popular the Book of Splendor is among Hollywood actors,’ Yediot quoted Madonna as telling Peres. ‘Everyone I meet talks to me only about that. I am an ambassador for Judaism.’
Madonna, who was raised a Roman Catholic, has taken the Hebrew name Esther, and has been seen wearing a red thread on her wrist in a Jewish tradition to ward off the evil eye.
During her visit, Madonna plans to visit sites sacred to Kabbalists. It was not known how long she intends to stay.
Madonna paid her first visit to Israel three years ago on another Kabbalah-centered trip.
‘I can’t believe that I’m celebrating the new year with you in Israel,’ Maariv newspaper quoted her as telling Peres on Saturday. ‘It’s a dream come true.’

The Onion's take on gays in the military

2007-08-15T10:01:00.001-07:00

Hilarious!

Rabbi Yonah in Seattle

2007-08-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

From his blog

Israel: Truth vs. Propoganda

In the war of words for Israel, we must all learn how to combat anti-Israel propaganda.

I will be discussing the surge in serious anti-Israel and anti-Semitic incidents, most notably at University of California-Irvine; Jewish communal responses/mistakes, and empowering the Jewish community to effectively advocate for Israel. I am planning a dynamic evening - dealing a very serious and important issue. Please join us for this great program.

When: Monday, August 20, 2007; 7 – 9 pm
Where: Montlake Community Center
RSVP: RSVP Required by August 16 to
Rachel (206) 774-2216 or YLD@JewishInSeattle.org
A kosher dinner will be served.

Israel for a younger crowd

2007-08-08T12:18:00.000-07:00

Article on Rabbi Yonah Bookstein in the JTNews

Brian J* had many reasons why he converted to Judaism, but one of them was Rabbi Yonah Bookstein.

A year and a half ago, J* discovered Bookstein’s podcasts, which address Jewish perspectives on topics ranging from sex to plastic surgery, and began downloading them on iTunes. With a conversational teaching style, J* thought Bookstein wasn’t boring, like some of the other rabbis he’d heard.

J* so enjoyed Bookstein’s approach to Judaism that he sparked a friendship with the rabbi. When J* and his partner, Michael, traveled to southern California to visit family, he made a point of meeting Bookstein, who serves as rabbi at California State University–Long Beach Hillel and the Hillel Foundation of Orange County.

J* expected his sexual preference might be a problem for an observant rabbi, but received a different response.

“He wanted to know when I was going to have kids?” recalled J*. “I was like, ‘What?’ It was totally out of the ballpark for me.”

In more ways than one, Bookstein is not an ordinary rabbi. An alum of the labor Zionist youth movement Habonim Dror, a largely secular organization, he was ordained by a traditional Orthodox seminary but refuses to identify with any particular movement of Judaism. He even lost some potential funding for rabbinical school after failing to express fidelity to any of the major branches.

In the age of the Internet, he has effectively used the Web to reach out to a large number of young Jews, not only with podcasts and MySpace pages, but as a writer on the blog Jewlicious, which attracts approximately 10,000 visitors a day. The popularity of the blog has grown so that Bookstein now organizes an annual Jewlicious Festival on Long Beach that attracts young Jews from

around the country with music, comedy, food and late-night Kabbalah discussions.

He has also earned a reputation as a forceful defender of Israel, not an easy job for a Hillel rabbi whose turf includes the University of California–Irvine, widely considered the most anti-Israel campus in the United States by advocates for the Jewish State. The bloggers on Jewlicious represent a range of religious and political perspectives, but share an unabashedly pro-Israel stance.

After their meeting, J* looked for funding to bring Bookstein to Seattle to speak. When the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle’s Young Leadership Division received a grant from the David Foundation to be used for Israel advocacy, he recommended they bring Bookstein. So YLD invited him.

He will be speaking on Aug. 20 on the topic “Israel: Truth vs. Propaganda.”

Bookstein’s Israel advocacy began as a teenager with Habonim Dror, but intensified after a stint living in Israel that coincided with the first intifada.

“When I returned to the United States I was out of my little shtetl and realized there were so many people with misinformation about Israel and about the various conflicts that Israel was in,” Bookstein told JTNews.

As an undergraduate at the University of Oregon, Bookstein attempted to create a “pro-Israel, pro-peace movement,” and three years ago returned to working on campuses, “thrust into the epicenter of the most radicalized campus and, basically, region in the country,” he said.

Bookstein said that nothing could have prepared him for U.C. Irvine. He accuses administrators of doing nothing to address what he sees as widespread anti-Semitism. The Jewish community, which he said is “passionately pro-Israel,” has been divided over the best strategy to engage the university, many preferring to keep a low profile while working with the school behind the scenes.

“The only thing that all the Jewish organizations can agree on is that the university is doing a bad job,” he said. “The fact that the university still does not acknowledge publicly that they have a problem is a major source of consideration by parents, who are thinking twice about sending their kids to the school. It’s exactly the opposite of what I would love to see.”

But the experience has also taught him techniques “to win people to a pro-Israel perspective and to help Jews not feel powerless in the face of a growing anti-Israel sentiment,” he said.

He has had success building alliances with disparate groups. Many people do support Israel, he said, and he has organized venues where they can show off that support publicly.

“I’d like to very much take the dialogue out of the Jewish-Muslim conflict and put it into a much larger context,” said Bookstein. “Israel is the only country which has protections in the region for minorities. It has protections for gays and lesbians and other minorities. Those groups are natural allies in our efforts.”

At the helm of the one of the most popular Jewish blogs on the Web, he is also an advocate of using the technology for Israel advocacy.

“If you want to engage people, you have to be where they are,” he said. “I think the advocacy community has been better at using the Internet than other segments of the Jewish community.”

Though he has had success, Bookstein is still quite sober about the current state of Jewish life and the future of Israel. He observes a growing chasm between American Jews and Israel and is as nervous as many Israel supporters about Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran.

“Israel faces a serious threat to its existence,” said Bookstein. “It’s a more hostile environment for Israel than I’ve ever seen. I think our work on Israel needs to be better than before. That the world community is openly discussing whether Israel was a good idea is an issue that should concern every single Jew.”

Rocketboom in Israel

2007-07-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

The video blog called Rocketboom had a series of videos where they visited Israel. They were very interesting, and strangely unbiased. Who knew? I particularly enjoyed the last one.

Enjoy.

Dude, where's my blog?

2007-07-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I've been a bit out of the loop with the blog. Summers keep us Community Center Directors busy. In spite of that, though, I am finding my connection with Judaism growing deeper and deeper each week.

I find that, by Friday, I can't wait to walk into the warm embrace of Shabbat. While I am not traditionally shomer Shabbos, I definitely mark the day different from the rest of the week, both in my choices and my mentality. The cell phone is put away, the "to-do" list is pushed out of my head, and I simply take in life.

I am trying to get more disciplined with studying Torah on Shabbat; I feel so fulfilled once I finish my lesson. M and I have also found another community to spend Shabbat with and making connections there.

Most exciting: we have booked a trip to Israel with the Federation and are going in February. I am also planning on taking a few classes with a local Orthodox Rabbi, possibly on Talmud or Modern Hebrew.

Most important than any of this: becoming Jewish has provided me with grounding I never knew before. No matter what the temporary annoyance, stress, or burden, I find myself focusing on the word Hashem, reminding myself that I am connected to something greater than me and that there is some reason why this temporary discomfort is present in my life. This has helped me become a better person in every aspect of my life, and I have a greater appreciation of every day I am alive.

Not to say it's all been a honeymoon, but I prefer to write about this for now. More later....

Are you Polish?

2007-06-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

Today was Seattle's Gay Pride Parade. I attended, complete with my wedding ring and kippah. I believe it's important to be present, as a married, religious member of the community.

That said, I struggle so much with many aspects of the gay community, including its ego-driven, body-image obsessed, over-sexualized, corporate-influenced set of values. Not really anything different from the general society, but I wish that the gay community could focus more on celebrating our diverse identities, and less on looking physically attractive, getting laid, and buying the latest in-fashions. The parts of the community I like are overshadowed by these more dominant, negative ones.

On a heart-warming level, I received a lot of curious glances and warm smiles beause of my kippah. Many people loved it, because it has characters from The Simpsons on it. Others were impressed that someone was visibly Jewish at the festival. One German woman asked me if I was Polish, and what Polish city I was from. I kindly laughed, saying I was not Polish, my mother is from Ireland, and I was raised in Seattle. She laughed, telling me I had a nice beard, and beautiful, smiling eyes - the kind she had only seen in Poland and Germany before.

How curious.

Apart from a lot of hatred that exists out there for Jews, there are also those folks that respond quite warmly to someone visibly Jewish. There is something that seems to pique people's interest. When I am wearing a kippah, more people approach me to ask for directions, comment on what I am wearing, or make any other approached toward me.

It makes me wonder what positive aspects and traits people project onto Jewish folks. If they do not have hateful assumptions, I wonder why they assume good. Is it guilt from history? Is it personal, positive experiences? Or is it just me?

Who knows. Every time I wear a yamulke in public, the reacton is generally positive and striking. Maybe the difference is with how I take the world in.

The Driver's 10 Commandments

2007-06-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

This is the first release from the Vatican that I find meaningful...the Pope released the 10 Commandments for drivers. Would be nice to see some better behavior on the roads, these days...

The "Drivers' Ten Commandments," as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

What the f$&%?

2007-06-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

A Friday funny of sorts, although one wonders if this bizarre story is truly funny or not. And, no, this is not a piece from The Onion.

Pentagon Confirms it sought to create a "gay bomb."

The Music of the World

2007-06-13T21:40:00.001-07:00

Another quote from Ask Moses

Two other spiritual capacities play the music of the body – Mind and Emotions. The instruments of Mind are the flow of thoughts, and the instruments of Emotion are the flow of words. The masterful individual orchestrates thoughts and words so that the music of the world is heard more serenely.

This one has particular significance for me, since (in the past) I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks. Most of them spanned from poor mental habits, where I was not dealing with life in an effective manner. In short, I tried to control everything.

This quote points out that the "music" of the world happens, and it's up to each of us to hear it correctly. Perception is tricky, and can be marred by emotional baggage, bad emotional habits, or faulty assumptions. This is the core of a lot of our problems in America; since most of us our living comfortably, we have become less disciplined in our approach to life, preferring a more self-centered, "all about me" focus. This will invariably lead to moral relavatism, laziness, and breakdown of our communities. Perhaps it already has....

Ponder this

2007-06-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

From askmoses.com

The Synergy of Harmony

A Hassidic adage teaches that two people speaking together elicit a synergy of their higher souls to overcome their individual temptations. Speaking to and with each other, as brothers and sisters, overcomes all adversities. But the operative term is ‘as brothers and sisters’.

Upcoming Bashert Event

2007-06-04T19:00:00.001-07:00

You’re Invited: June 21, 7pm
Roundtable Discussion: Coming Out and Staying In: Your Jewish Family and Community

For lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender (LGBT) people, coming out in a Jewish family can mean risking separation from an important part of one’s identity. Even when family members are supportive, coming out can test the entire family’s relationship to the larger Jewish community.

Bashert, the LGBT initiative of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle, is sponsoring "Coming Out and Staying In," a roundtable discussion of the concerns families have when a child or other family member comes out, and how our Jewish community can become more welcoming and inclusive.

The program is open to everyone in the community who is interested, especially LGBT Jews; parents and other family members of LGBT people; and their friends and supporters.

This event is co-sponsored by Jewish Family Service.

Date: Thursday, June 21, 2007

Time: 7pm (8:15pm Kosher dessert reception)

Location:
Hillel at University of Washington
4745 17th Ave NE
Seattle , WA 98105

Who:
Rabbi Will Berkovitz, moderator (Yay! Rabbi Will!)
Robin and Sara Boehler
Dr. Ted and Andy Kohler
Don Armstrong, Jewish Family Service
Rabbi Dov Gartenberg

RSVP:
You may RSVP to this invitation at Bashert@JewishInSeattle.org. Please provide your name and email address. You have the option of providing your home or business address and phone number. The JFGS does not share mailing list information.

For more information about Bashert or this event, please contact Cheryl at CherylS@JewishInSeattle.org or at the Federation on (206) 774-2231.

All Apologies

2007-06-03T09:22:00.001-07:00

I took my previous post down because, while filled with some real humor, I realized that it was Lashon Hora. I stand corrected and will certainly avoid such entries again.

Nevertheless, I do want to blog about my experience at Rabbi Lapin's house on Saturday night. I left the evening feeling both enlightened and uncomfortable. This discomfort remains with me.

There is a disturbing trend in America, where people allow the more selfish aspects of capitalism to intersect with strong religious belief. With this mix, you get a slate of baby boomers who led self-indulgent lives in their youth, now "saved" by whatever religion and claiming to be working on G-d's behalf when voting on any particular social cause.

I do not accuse Rabbi Lapin of this, particularly. However, I do take issue with how he takes his personal views on issues and uses Torah to justify them. For example, he equated recycling with idolatry, explaning that people leading non-religious lives offer the separation of their garbage as their "sacrifice" or "offering." He then went on to quote one article claiming that all garbage and recycling go to the same place. Recycling and environmentalism, to Rabbi Lapin, have become the new secular religion and it achieves nothing.

While there is plenty of legitemate criticisms of environmentalism and recycling, Rabbi Lapin went beyond that scope. He simply used Torah to justify choosing not reuse and recycle. Even if a quarter of what we recycle is reused, isn't that enough of a reason to do it? Does Torah not teach that we are the stewards of the Earth? Rabi Lapin would have us believe we need not recycle, because Hashem will provide everything we need.

I feel this same discomfort from any religious figure, whether you are justifying the war or celebrating the 2006 election as a gift from G-d. But, the conservative end of the spectrum has certainly allowed Capitalism to influence how and why it is religious.

Another bothersome point brought up was his interpretation of "my cup runneth over." He taught last night that our cup needs to be full first, so that whatever runs over we share with others. Well, what is the definition of "full" and what is the "run over?" I have read some of his teachings before, and he has said many times that G-d wants us all to be rich and this is something to strive for.

Good Grief. This is so antithetical to anything I've been taught or believe; I just don't know what to do with it. Most unfortunate was that I found a lot of his teaching uplifting and enlightening, but I could not completely buy into him because of these other aspects.

Jews run the gay agenda, too!

2007-05-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

A blogger in Canada lists the "Jews" who run the radical, gay agenda. Too bad a number of these folks aren't Jewish, most notably the very Catholic Dan Savage.

The Jews are so gay!

The Devil Came On Horseback

2007-05-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

M and I saw The Devil Came on Horseback today at the Seattle International Film Festival.

The film showcases Brian Steidle, a U.S. Marine who was assigned to investigate the Darfur region of Sudan in 2003, to determine whether or not a genocide was occurring. What develops is not just the horrifying events in Darfur, but the story of Brian's eyes opening up to how corrupt political powers in the world allow atrocities like Darfur to happen and explores why it has yet to be stopped. The viewer is left with a set of tools to help increase the visibility of this crisis in America, because the people of Sudan are depending on us to help them.

The film was incredibly powerful and moving, for many apparent reasons. I could go on and on about the grace injustices of the film or how horrifying it is; instead, I am encouraging everyone out there to see this film when it comes to your area. You can also go to the web site (linked above) and request a screening in your area.

I know there are a number of activists who read my posts, and this film is the perfect tool to begin discussion and push people into action.

There is no word to describe how awful the effects of corrupt governments have on people in this world. The Arab and Muslim leaders in this world have a responsibility to help these citizens, fellow Muslims, and racism keeps them from doing anything. China is just now beginning to change its partnerships with Sudan, but not enough to get people to stop calling next year's Olympics the Genocide Olympics.

My hope is that enough awareness can be drummed up in the next year, so that the American athletes going to Beijing might very well be placed in a position to raise awareness about China's connection to the atrocities in Darfur. One can only hope people in the positions to create such visibility have the conscience to see that it is right. I plan to write the U.S. Olympic Committee, requesting that they have www.savedarfur.org sewn into every, official Olympic uniforms made for the athletes. This is a prime opportunity for the world's focus to shift to Darfur, and its high time as well...

Sasquatch Music Festival

2007-05-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of attending the Sasquatch Music Festival yesterday, a large, indie rock festival held at the Gorge Amphitheatre in George, WA. The amphitheatre setting is absolutely amazing, as it overlooks a large gorge and the Columbia River.

Besides seeing Bjork (amazing!), Beastie Boys (fun!), Ghostland Observatory (hysterical!), and others...there was a Heeb Tent. The tent promised much Jew-centric entertainment, and my friend K and I looked at each other puzzled. We were convinced we were the only 2 Jews attending (exaggeration), but looked forward to viewing the tent. Unfortunately, the Beastie Boys (Jews...so I guess, five in attendance?) kept us sufficiently distracted that we missed the small window Heeb had their tent.

We were simply impressed by the presence of Jewish stuff in this festival....not many Jew-centric things occur in Washington.

Shavuous Recap

2007-05-27T18:46:00.001-07:00

The service on Tuesday was the smallest I've attended, since M and I started going to Kol Haneshamah 4 years ago. I was a little disappointed by the low attendance, as I was excited to share my Dvar with our usually large group. But, those in attendance were those meant to hear my words, I guess.

The Dvar went off well, and seemed to resonate with a number of attendees. During the potluck following, many people asked me more questions about my journey, Rabbi Yonah, and how I came to really feel welcome in Judaism. It felt wonderful, both because I finally found the words the accurately describe my experience and that I was able to share it with my community.

And, Jews being Jews, I have now been approached to join two synagogue committees and asked to give another Dvar during high holidays. LOL - my Rabbi told me I had a honeymoom period with Judaism for 2 years, but this seems to have gone out the window with him being on paternity leave.

Dvar for Shavuous

2007-05-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday night, I will be giving a Dvar for Shavuous. I have been asked to speak about my “aha” moment in choosing to convert. While I had many such moments, I focused on one that I felt tied right into Shavuous and receiving the Torah. Enjoy!

On Shavuous, we celebrate receiving the Torah from G-d. At its core, the Torah can be seen as the most profound act of love from G-d to his children; much like the parent of an unruly child, G-d provides rules, boundaries, expectations, and encouragement, so the Jews may grow further as a people. The Torah is G-d’s form of tough love; love that inspires us to grow with every passing year.

Looking beyond the events at Mt. Sinai, I also like to approach Shavuous as a time to reflect on how we give each other the “Torah.” Not in the sense of literally handing each other stone tablets or rolls of parchment paper; instead, how are we giving a piece of Torah to one another, inspiring each other to grow?

My “aha” moment came from an act of love, of true acceptance and connection; a passing of the Torah, if you will.

I began my journey toward the mikveh three years ago, bowing out for a time as I struggled with my anger against organized religion. Throughout my life, I felt a strong connection to G-d; however, in religion I saw an archaic, meaningless institution that people used to either pacify their existential fears or wield power over others.

I wanted nothing to do with this, even though I felt very connected to the Jewish people and loved the traditions I had been sharing with my husband Michael.

So, I wandered for almost 2 years, making no personal commitment to Judaism, but living a Jewish life in my home and attending synagogue. Finally, after healing some of my wounds and wanting to make more definitive commitments in my life, I decided to resume my journey last year on Yom Kippur.

While this decision came from wanting a deeper relationship with G-d through Judaism, it was not my “aha” moment. I resumed my journey intent on firmly deciding whether or not to commit to the Jewish people. I no longer wanted to waffle, for I saw this indecision as disrespectful to the Jewish community.

Instead, my “aha” moment came from the most unlikely of sources: a Chassidic Rabbi. Anyone who knows me understands that I am both stubborn and skeptical, and also resistant of authority when it doesn’t make sense to me. I came to see the Orthodox movement as something to resist and criticize.

One day, I was searching online for lectures on Judaism and came across a Rabbi named Yonah Bookstein. I found his lectures energizing and inspiring; Yonah took seemingly mundane concepts and laws from Torah, placing them firmly in our modern world, demonstrating how they can be both practiced and meaningful. I was fascinated by this very halachicly traditional Rabbi, with a very non-traditional approach to teaching and existing.

I had the pleasure of meeting him last December, and we visited for about two hours. We had been conversing occasionally over e-mail for about a year prior, so he knew I was on the road to conversion; he was very pleased. Also knowing I was married, he asked how Michael and I met. He then asked me when we were going to have kids. I stuttered a bit, mentioning that we weren’t quite ready to have children. “Well, why not?” he said, “Having children is amongst the greatest mitvot men can fulfill.”

This seemingly small, typical moment of Jews pressuring others to have children was my “aha” moment. Here I sat across from a Chassidic Rabbi, swapping life experiences and having a great time, and he is pressuring me and my husband to have children. While many religious leaders would encourage Michael and I to never come into contact with a child, here I sat across from one concerned I had yet to parent one.

This was a profoundly healing moment for me. Even though I know most Orthodox people would not consider me a Jew, having a connection with one who has since welcomed me to the tribe is enough to confirm for me that Judaism has a place for me at the table. Rabbi Yonah prodding me about having children was a moment where I was regarded as a 1st class citizen; a stark contrast to my Catholic priest expecting me to live my life hidden in shame and wanting me to believe that G-d simply made a mistake when creating me.

I understand that Rabbi Yonah has particular halachic obligations, and might very well hold differing opinions from me on homosexuality. I have no qualms about disagreement and debate. However, I left our time together flying high, having exchanged the love of G-d’s Torah with this wonderful man, because we both looked beyond our labels and connected with one another as fellow human beings. Finding ways to truly connect with one another, I believe, is at the core of Torah’s numerous lessons.

True human connections in life are scarce, but Hashem has truly blessed me with many wonderful people, including my husband Michael, my parents Leo and Maggie Judd, my best friend Joe, and Rabbis Michael and Yonah, all of whom inspired me to grow during my journey toward the mikveh. Receiving the love and lessons of the Torah, both in study and through these relationships, has been one of the true gifts of my life. I look forward to the inspiration these gifts will provide me as I continue my life journey as a Jew.

Reflections for Shavuous

2007-05-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

On Shavuous, I will be reading from the Book of Ruth. I will also be giving a D'Var Torah on what my "aha" experience that led me to my choice.

This task has sent me on a lenghty bout of reflection and questioning. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? What could Hashem possibly have in store for me.

One of the most powerful realizations I had was, looking back at the first 30 years of my life, all the most memorable, powerful, and life-changing events/moments in my life have been unexpected and unplanned by me. That goes to show just how much control we have over our lives and their directions.

I was heard someone say that G-d gave us gifts and talents, and we are merely the managers of these gifts. Life is a gift; it is enjoyed on borrowed time, with a lot of guidance and influence from Hashem. Once we stop fighting that aspect of our lives, peace can return. For an anxious personality like me, this lesson truly resonates with me and has made me a much happier, productive person.

I'm not sure if that will be part of my Shavuous thought, but it is certainly what is resonating with me tonight.

Daily Thought

2007-05-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling a bit this week with various aspects of my life. This daily thought from askmoses.com couldn't have come on a better day to remind me of a few things I already knew. You gotta hand it to those Chabad folks.....

True self discovery is a process of transformation, changing who you were until now to reveal your full potential.

Letter to Senator Murray

2007-04-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Senator Murray

This correspondence concerns the recently passed House Bill #1591, setting a date to begin pulling American troops out of Iraq on October 1st, 2007.

In 2002, I felt a strong sense of pride and relief when you voted against the Senate Iraq resolution. It was wonderful to see one of my Senators stand up in the face of strong opposition, and make the ethical, right choice to not support this wholly unethical action.

Unfortunately, the majority of our elected officals and citizens did not side with you, and we invaded Iraq. While Saddam Hussein's removal was a good thing, we have not provided the Iraqi people with a foundation with which to build a solid, stable government.

I am writing you to ask, when this Bill reaches the Senate floor, that you vote in opposition of this time-line. I am not a supporter of our presence in Iraq, but I believe we now have both a political and moral responsibility to fix what we have broken. Leaving our military in place to keep Iraq from moving into full-scale civil war and genocide is a piece to this difficult puzzle.

I ask, instead, that you lead Congressional Democrats to remain involved in the strategic planning for Iraq, ensuring that we are making decisions that are in the best interest of the Iraqi citizens, and not in the interest of American imperialism or materialism.

Shabbat Shalom

2007-04-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

This is the view from my office window. I took a moment yesterday to take this, and to remember how blessed I am to live in a beautiful area, with a loving husband and family, wonderful job, and a great community.

Good Shabbos, indeed.

I am a Jew

2007-03-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

From right to left: Rabbi Michael Latz, myself, Rabbi Will Berkowitz, and Rabbi Yohanna Kinberg with her beautiful baby son.

Today was the big day. My husband, my best friend, and I arrived about 20 minutes early. We enjoyed the Spring sun. When the Rabbi’s arrived, we headed into the front room of the mikveh. The mikveh was much more modern than I expected it to be, very new, and very nice.

It was exciting to speak with the Bet Din before immersion. I also found is frustrating, as they all posed some significant, meaty questions. While they seemed to enjoy my answers, I never felt like I could quite express myself as well as I wanted. Being that these questions are often ones pondered through the ages, I guess I should lighten up on myself.

After about 30 minutes, our dialogue was finished and I was excused. Five minutes later, I was called to immerse in the mikveh. I showered and dried off. My husband served as my witness and the Rabbi’s stood outside the door, thank goodness. I am not shy, but my Rabbis do not need to see me naked. No reason, no way.

I immersed three times, saying the three separate prayers. Coming up the third time, I emerged as a Jew. I dried off (again), got dressed, and went out into the front room. There, I signed my conversion certificate, with both my given name and my Hebrew name, in Hebrew no less.

Then each person in the room left me with such kind words, I was overwhelmed and speechless. Most notably was Rabbi Rabbi Kinberg, who said that she was honored to be a member of my tribe. I am still astounded by those words.

I left feeling different, and not so different. While I am happy, fulfilled, and pleased, I am also feeling disoriented. My goal was the conversion; now what? Where am I headed? Where am I going? What am I striving for? Clearly, I am always seeking a closer relationship with Hashem, my Jewish community, and the global community. But, where in the world do I begin to do these things as a newly converted Jew?

I guess I just begin wherever I start. What a wonderful, alive day this has been

Dine for Darfur

2007-03-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

I was at Top Pot Doughnuts, where one can find the best doughnuts EVER. As I was pouring cream in my coffee, I saw a Dine for Darfurevent advertisement. I was excited, as the situation in Darfur is horrific and in dire need of international intervention.

My excitement sank when I saw the date was April 3rd. Right in the middle of Passover.

Normally, I do not worry about such scheduling conflict. Seattle has a small Jewish community and we can only expect a certain level of consideration. Most the time the majority, rightfully, wins out.

But, the American Jewish community has been at the forefront of creating higher visibility of the problems in Darfur. We were the ones that have been making the noise about the genocide in America, perking up the ears of our elected officials and fellow citizens. I admit it felt like a slap in the face to not consider scheduling it around Passover. More likely, a calendar was not even consulted when scheduling the event.

Not only am I disappointed by the date, but also because a good number in the Jewish community will not be able to dine out and support this event. They will raise less money and offer less support.

I wrote a letter, expressing this disappointment and hope they will consider the Jewish calendar the next time an event like this is scheduled.

Mohel Visit

2007-03-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

I just returned from visiting the Mohel. I decided to do the Hatafat Dam Brit separate from Thursday’s ceremony, to give me one less thing to think about. I was not very concerned about the ritual, even with the ridiculous amount of “sensitivity” we men feel about “the area.”

It only took a few minutes and was painless. Dr. Biback was very nice and friendly. While on the surface inconsequential, I found the ritual to be a nice event to mark this identity change in my life. On to the mikveh on Thursday.

On a side note, I think this will be the only time I will have trees planted in Israel in exchange for a man to touch my penis. I found this thought entirely too amusing on my ride hom

Shabbat Shalom

2007-03-23T08:03:00.001-07:00

Enjoy Madonna turning her hit "Holiday" into a world peace anthem. Mixing Madonna and Shabbat; how blasphemous, but utterly fabulous.

Get over yourself and enjoy it. You know you want to.

I Heart Madonna

2007-03-23T08:02:00.001-07:00

,

Okay, I admit it. I love Madonna. I love everything about her. I can't help it. I am gay. For gay men, one-half of the gay gene also includes codes for loving Madonna. We are enslaved by it; have pity on us.

10 years ago, her involvement with the LA-based Kabbalah Center garnered much press and attention. Nobody knew about this obscure offshoot of Judaism, and 10 years later people still know very little about it. The word Kabbalah being attached to Madonna's image has, unfortunately, cheapened the meaning of this incredibly powerful word. It denotes an esoteric, beautiful mystical tradition from the Middle Ages that seemed to tap into the very essence of G-d, separate from any institution human created. But, it it still distinctly Jewish and completely incomprehensible by yours truly.

As I have watched Madonna's career embrace more and more Kabbalistic imagery, from esoteric lyrics to displaying the various Hebrew names of G-d in her concerts, I wondered what affect her "spirituality" would have on the rest of us. Love her or hate her, she is an important figure in our culture. Would displaying the names of G-d have an impact on spectators? Would singing her hit "Holiday" in front of the Israeli and Palestinian flags inspire people to strive for peace in the Middle East? Will her work in Malawi, setting up a Kabbalah Center there, really do anything for humanity?

You have to admire Madonna's efforts. Once a completely narcissistic figure, she is truly trying to do some good things with her money, power, image, and attention. But, will it achieve anything at all? It might make some small, positive changes, but it is going to take more than Madonna dancing around in front of flags and building a few buildings in Malawi to create real change in the world.

And is the perverted version of mysticism that the Kabbalah Center passes off as valuable make any difference? Or is it simply creating yet another vessel of self-indulgence for the people who have too much and know too little? On the flip-side, are more religion traditions created for people who have little, so they can feel they know more than they do and find comfort?

These reflections I am typing may seem silly, but they contain an important question of our time. As people send all their criticism towards visible people like Madonna, how valuable are our own religious traditions? Are we really any more different than Madonna, in the sense that each of us wants to simply do something good and belong to something that enriches our lives. If we led the unusual life of a cultural icon, would we also belong to strange sects of mysticism, that make strange sense to us?

For me, Judaism clarified a strange existence. I did not feel any sense of belonging in my religious life, but always felt a spiritual connection to G-d. I finally found a system where I have a place at the table and feel closer to Hashem as a result. It is wonderful. Some might find my upcoming conversion as silly as donning a red string on my left wrist. Does this mean I am wrong or damaging the people around me? Who knows; I just want to try to lead the best life that I can.

Quote from my Rabbi

2007-03-22T22:39:00.001-07:00

A conversation I had with Rabbi Latz yesterday. I was a little nervous about my upcoming conversion.

Me: "Are you sure I'm ready? Are you sure I would burn down right in front of the Bet Din?"

Rabbi Latz: "Yes, of course you are ready. No, there will be no burning at the ceremony. It's the people you come from that do the burning, not us."

Nice.

The convert's point of view

2007-03-22T22:19:00.001-07:00

My husband and I got into a conversation on Tuesday. It upset me, not because he said anything hurtful, but because I realized there was an aspect to my Jewish identity I could never share with him.

The convert’s Jewish experience is radically different, in the sense that we will often have to justify our jewish-ness, or even prove to some that we are, in fact, Jewish.

Our conversation brought to mind scenarios I might face in the future (moving and changing synagogues, travelling to Israel etc.) where I might very well have to prove to people that I am Jewish. Especially if they choose to regard my conversion as not halachic.

It’s a difficult thing to put into words. When going through the learning, growing, and exploration of conversion, you are relegated to a school child again. One is constantly looking externally to learn, be inspired, and, yes, receive approval. But, at the same time, the process is a very internal, personal communion with G-d. I am perfectly comfortable with my journey in joining the Jewish people, but I might encounter important people in the future who will simply not acknowledge me as Jew. This is not something that people born to a Jewish Mother ever have to face, no matter how disconnected from their heritage they might be. All the more reason for the convert (me) to become more resolute in their identity and faith.

Me

2007-03-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

Stupid Pope

2007-03-20T21:07:00.001-07:00

I did not grow up with the movie-of-the-week Catholicism. I do not feel guilty all the time, nuns never hit me with rulers, and my family doesn’t hate me because I am gay or becoming Jewish.

Regardless, the structure and expectations of the Church are both absolutely ridiculous. Unlike some folks, I am unable to authentically engage in an institution that I find hypocritical and full of nonsense.

A good example is this news release. With everything going on in the world, right at this moment, the grand ‘ol Pope decides that every Catholic politician needs to oppose gay marriage. Read: every AMERICAN politician needs to be against it, because the current Pope is only concerned with what America and Israel are doing.

This is not a personal reaction from gay man; rather, it is a reaction to the hypocrisy of the Church on several social issues that It refuses to have in any real way. The Church refuses to reconsider its view on contraception, despite the fact that reconsidering might save millions of lives in Africa. If it took an open-minded, reasonable approach to homosexuality (specifically gay men), more people would connect with the Church, have a fulfilled spiritual life with a community, and children of gay parents would not be ostracized from the Catholic community. And on euthanasia, there is a perfectly reasonable argument to be made that the merciful, G-dful act is to let someone’s suffering end, and to have that decision rest with the families - not religious or government entities faithful to ideology, not people.

News articles like make me sick to my stomach, because millions of lives are affected by the words of this deplorable man. The leadership in the Church is only concerned with wielding power and slowing down change, to assuage their own existential fears at the expense of others. Many local Catholic communities are healthy places for people, but they have no real mechanism to affect change because the hierarchy is so top heavy.

Hence, the decentralized nature of Judaism is quite appealing. Although far from perfect, I believe Judaism is a more humane religion, allowing imperfect people a chance to authentically strive for a close relationship with G-d, regardless of any aspect of their life. This is what Jesus taught people; he taught Jewish lessons.

Maybe the Pope should take some cues from the Jews he used to hate so much during his Hitler Youth days.

Conversion on my mind

2007-03-20T21:06:00.001-07:00

I just made the appointment for my Hatafat Dam Brit. I have been thinking about my upcoming conversion ceremony a lot today; it’s only one week away.

I have been taking stock of my life up to this point and how I made it here. I feel truly blessed that I am joining the Jewish people; I truly feel like my soul is coming home.

Morning Minyan

2007-03-05T12:09:00.001-08:00

I attended morning minyan at Congregation Beth Shalom this morning. I arrived 10 minutes early, with Father-In-Law’s tefillin in hand. I have no idea how to put it on, but was hoping someone at the service would help me out.

I was the first to arrive, even before the lay leaders. When they let me in, I put on a tallis and simply sat for services to begin. The couple leading the service were quite nice to me, asking where I was from, if I was here for a yarzeit, etc. I explained that I am converting at the end of the month and that this was my first morning minyan experience. They were pleased and welcomed me.

The men who arrived with me as the service began did not don tefillin, so I set it aside for the time being. A 1/2 hour later, I looked behind me and saw 8-10 men who had arrived late....and they all had tefillin on. So, I did not get a chance to ask anyone to help me, but maybe another time.

The service itself was more rushed and routine than the services at Kol HaNeshamah. I have a difficult time being in a service where I feel the prayers and rituals are being rushed, in order to get out on time. But, I also understand that for a daily routine, it is just that. Routine.

But, at what point does prayer become routine? To me prayer is akin to meditation, a method to take some time to connect with Hashem and let worldly distractions go to the wayside.

These feelings aside, this morning was the most welcomed I felt at Beth Shalom. In the past, I have felt like an outsider, especially because no one would ever speak to me or my husband much. At first I thought it might the gay thing, but they have a number of same-sex couples. I realized this was an old congregation and most folks had been there for a long time, some for generations. This probably contributes to habits of being an insular community.

I did enjoy the service, and will probably return sometime this week or early next week. I am also going to join an Orthodox minyan soon, to have that experience as well.

Hebrew Class

2007-02-28T23:55:00.000-08:00

I am almost finished with my Hebrew class, and am glad it is coming to a close. I chose to recite the V'ahavta to the class last week; although I missed a few of the gutterals, I was quite pleased with how I was able to chug through it.

Hebrew is not a difficult language to learn in terms of the basics. But, the speed of my reading has improved very little. This will take much more time, especially when praying in services.

Hee hee

2007-02-28T23:50:00.000-08:00

Another blog

2007-02-23T08:41:00.000-08:00

I'll be doing some "official" blogging under another site, while keeping this one for more personal reflections.

The other blog is also called Almost Kosher, and can be found on www.jew-ish.com.

Shabbat Shalom, everyone.

My Hebrew Name

2007-02-16T14:01:00.000-08:00

I have chosen my Hebrew name. It is Yehuda (or Yehudah). It is the Hebrew root of my last name. I thought of it as a nice, symbolic bridge between my family name and Jewish identity. My parents have been so supportive of me throughout many decisions I've made, including converting, I thought I would honor them with this.

They Like Me!

2007-02-16T13:14:00.000-08:00

I have been approached to do a professional blog with jew-ish.com. They are actually paying me to write from my viewpoint. How cool is that? I'll link up to it here as it gets going.

Nothing much new on the conversion journey front. I am keeping on with reading, learning, and growing. I am quite proficient with my Hebrew, which is pleasing after only 5 months or so. I am preparing to read the V'ahavta in front of the class. It's a challenging prayer to learn, but I am getting it.....

M and I might be going to Israel in October for 2 weeks, just in time for my 30th birthday. More on that later.

Conversion Date

2007-01-25T12:52:00.000-08:00

March 29th is the day I'll be visiting the Mikveh. I am so excited. My symbolic rite of circumcision (I always forget the Hebrew name) is the day before.

This is truly remarkable for me.

Soulfully Satisfying

2007-01-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

This is the term I have come up with to describe the feeling through my body after attending shul, Torah study, Hebrew class, reading more about Judaism, etc.

For the first time in my life, I feel nourished by a religious and spiritual tradition, beyond my own belief that G-d exists.

This is truly wonderful, and words cannot fully describe it.

Many have asked me why I am leaving Catholicism. Is it because I am gay, jaded, or just disenfranchised?

It's not quite that simple. As I have told people in the past, my experience of Catholicism would not make for an exciting Lifetime movie.

The best answer I can come up for people is that there is room for me in Judaism. There is a space in Judaism where I can authentically be me, as G-d created me.

That doesn't mean I don't need to grow and change; certainly Judaism teaches us we must constantly struggle to grow and reach new heights. But, Judaism is the only tradition I have found that truly honors struggling, doubting, and striving.

This weekend, in his sermon, my Rabbi said that doubting, challenging, fearing, and worrying were just as much a part of the Covenant as celebrating, honoring, and loving G-d.

It was this moment that it dawned on me - my experience of Christianity is that everyone's experience of the traditions needs to be the same. You have to believe certain things, you have to feel a certain way about those beliefs, and if you doubt certain core, beliefs, there is shock and horror amongst the "believers."

In Judaism, I am allowed to learn about, struggle with, doubt, fear, love, celebrate, and honor G-d....all at the same time.

I am not sure if anyone else can identify with this experience, but it has been truly profound for me. This weekend marks the point in my life where I realized I am truly ready to convert and life my life as a Jew.

Adult Torah Study

2007-01-07T21:18:00.000-08:00

On Saturday morning, I attended my Shul's Adult Torah study class before services. I found it incredibly stimulating, as it reminded me of some of my great classes in college.

We sat in a circle, read through a Torah portion, and discussed its various aspects for over an hour. Included in this was not just dissecting the text, but people provided their unique perspective for what the portion said to them.

It reenergized me, as my interest in studying waned during the holidays. Part of that was due to my high energy around it before, and it was simply the cosmos balancing itself out. But, I have been plagued by certain doubts about what kind of religion was "right" and "wrong."

Being raised Christian, I am coming face to face with what I was taught my entire life. While I certainly do not believe that Judaism is a wrong path, the junk idea that Christianity is the only way to salvation remains with me in a childish way, much like bad habits that need to be shaken off.

The class reminded me of how G-d is present for all people, regardless of tradition. He is simply waiting for us to find him, for he already holds us in his hands.

Shomer Shabbos

2006-12-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I decided to be shomer shabbos. While I am converting under the Reform or Conservative moment, I decided that I wanted to try everything out before I reject anything.

It was an amazing experience. It made me appreciate just how pressure Shabbat is, not only in the spiritual sense, but practically as well. The 24 hours change the pace of your life, the energy in your body, and how your mind works. You appreciate each moment, since you are refraining from the usual distractions and work of the rest of the week.

After this experience, I understand how I can keep Shabbat special, even if I am not being completely observant. It is more about making sure that Shabbat is distinctly set apart from the rest of your week. For some people, this might mean they will not drive or talk on the phone. For others, they might refrain from watching television or listening to music. Whatever it might be, you change how you interact with the world and recognize it as holy, rejuvenating time. In rejuvenating the spirit, you are more energized to do G-d's work during the rest of the days.

The services themselves were only okay. I am not thrilled with the Conservative shul we attended. Friday night services were wonderful, as always, but Saturday services were all praying and no spirit. The congregation mumbled through the prayers, blessings, and Torah portion. It was mind-numbing, nothing like my home Shul.

Spending time with D and M during the 24 hours, though, was fantastic. We ate, drank, prayed, laughed, studied, slept, and played. It was fantastic, and M did a particularly spectacular job of making my first shomer Shabbos special.

Kosher Choices

2006-12-13T14:45:00.000-08:00

For the past two weeks, I have been making "kosher choices." This means that I am making sure that everything I eat is kosher, but not worrying yet about what kind of kitchen (or factory) it is made in. I thought this was a good way to slowly transition and train myself to eat kosher.

I am choosing to go kosher, not only because it outlined in the Jewish covenant with G-d, but because it is a regular reminder of being set apart and having a unique connection with G-d. This seems to be the essence of kashruth.

So far, the decisions haven't been too difficult. Sure, I am missing a few items here and there, but this process reminds me of when I was a vegetarian for two years. While it is more restrictive than that, it's along the same lines.

This morning brought a great challenge, however. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. to take my Mom to the hospital for a minor surgery; this is much earlier than I get up regularly. After checking her in and sending her off, it was 7:30 a.m. I am tired, mildly cranky, and hungry. My plan was to go to Starbucks, because I can get a kosher coffee drink and several of their pre-wrapped items are kosher.

As I exited the hospital, I forgot about the monster wind and rain storm outside. The closest Starbucks was 5 blocks away (a long distance for coffee in Seattle) and I had no umbrella. In light of this complication, I returned to the cafeteria to make the best of an annoying situation. As perused my options, I realized that I had a choice of dry eggs, hash browns, and a stale biscuit.

Yummy.

I always knew that the Americans love their pork in the morning, and that love was in grand display in the cafeteria, mocking me at every turn.

However, in all honesty, as I sat eating my dry eggs, potatoes, and biscuit, I was comforted by the idea that many other people have a similar experience everyday.

If only there was veggie bacon or tofu sausage available....

Law and Tradition

2006-12-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

I am in the midst of reading To Pray As a Jew. It is interesting how the line between law and tradition tends to be blurred in Judaism.

A good example is tefillin. The Torah commands one to bind the words to one's head and one's arm. That's fine. But, through Rabbinical discourse in the Talmud, one is now commanded to put on tefillin every morning, except on Shabbos and a few other days.

How do we know that G-d commanded us to do it only once in our lifetime, as opposed to daily?

I am not one who tries to throw tradition out the window. I completely understand the value of traditions. My concern with religion has always been that customs become synonymous with Biblical law. These blurred lines are not healthy for any system, and can result in unnecessary zealotry.

Another example - wearing a kippa. There is no religious law telling a man to conver his head when he enters synagogue. It is simply a tradition to show respect for G-d. That's great. But, try stepping into a synagogue without a head covering and pay attention to the looks you receive. Some will look on in great discomfort because one chooses not to. For some, this discomfort comes from someone doing something different, but others might actually believe G-d commanded men to wear kippot.

Where is the checks and balance for these things?

Supportive Parents

2006-12-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

I was visiting with my parents on Sunday, and G-d kindly reminded me what a wonderful family I was born into.

While my family has its fair share of dysfunction, at the very core of everything, my parents love me very much. In talking more about my conversion to Judaism, they both had so many questions about the different practices, rituals, and philosophies. When I told them our last name has Hebrew origins, my Mother smiled and said, "Well, then I guess it was meant to be," meaning that my being drawn to Judaism is no surprise.

I also said a Hebrew prayer over Thanksgiving dinner a few weeks ago.

My parent simply want me to be happy and to have a fulfilled life. Whether it be me changing careers, coming out as a gay man, or deciding to convert to a different religion, they are standing next to me, supporting and loving me.

I am very lucky. Praise G-d.

Parsha Reflections

2006-12-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

The story of Joseph's dreams, his brothers' envy, and his prosperity in Egypt brings to mind the idea of how the world treats dreamers and strivers.

Joseph's dreams could be taken literally, as simply images that come to him in the night. I read the portion differently; there seems to be something relevant in here about being driven.

Joseph was out of the ordinary and did not seem satisfied to simply live life like his brothers. He had dreams and seemed to strive for greatness. His brothers were threatened by this because they did not have these same dreams and were threatened by Joseph's greatness. While Joseph displayed some arrogance, he beared no ill will. And, instead of helping Joseph achieve greatness, his brothers tried to keep him down.

This is what we do to people in our world today. Anyone who strives to live a different (and often better) life than the mainstream is often attacked, misunderstood, sabotaged, and scapegoated. I believe this comes from how threatened people feel by the amount of control they have in life. People often say they feel powerless; I believe it much more daunting to hold a belief system revolving around choices in life. Every choice we make can elevate us.

Jospeh's brothers felt threatened by Joseph not just because of his potential "power," but because he took responsibility for himself and had lofty goals. Instead of improving themselves in response to envy, they tried to tear him down.

The final portion, about Joseph helping the butler and baker, seems to be about how there are many "takers" in the world. Joseph, through his own choices, became elevated in G-d's eyes. The Pharoah's butler, in a moment of need, asked Joseph for help. He gave it to them, only asking that they help get him out of jail. The butler eventually forgot.

People often receive help and assistance, but rarely say thank you, let alone returning the favor. It is often true that those who create good lives for themselves (financially, socially, familially, spiritually or otherwise) are often taken advantage of by people. Once again, rather than improving one's own life, many choose to simply feed off of the work that other people have done.

From what I can gather, there is nothing particularly special about Joseph, other than he strives to improve his life. Maximizing the gift of life that G-d has given us is truly a great path towards happiness.

Jewish Souls

2006-12-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

In finishing Becoming a Jew last week, I realized something profound about my spritual journey.

My entire life, I have felt set apart and "chosen" by G-d for something different in life. I've never followed the path of the masses, and have enjoyed life on a much higher level because I have remained on my own authentic path. I have always struggled with the world and other people, but have felt protected, loved, and encouraged by my connection with G-d.

At the end of the book, the author theorizes that all converts are really Jewish souls coming home. This resonated highly with me, as I have always felt very drawn to Judaism. The next day, I was doing some searching for a Hebrew name, and found out that my last name has Hebrew roots. I began to wonder if my family has Jewish blood that was forgotten along the way.

I now truly feel like I am a Jewish soul coming home. I feel great comfort and joy adopting Jewish beliefs and traditions. It's actually the first time I have ever felt like I truly fit into something.

What a wonderful experience it is - a great beginning to a lifelong journey.

Darfur Wall

2006-12-08T22:36:00.000-08:00

This is an incredible site, designed by a friend of a friend.

Darfur Wall. There are numbers on the page, ranging from 1-400,000. People can pay $1 to have a number lit up, bringing it from darkness to light.

First post

2006-12-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my blog. I am excited about marking off a small space, focusing on my learning and growing toward Jewish conversion.

My hope is that I will not only be able to reflect personally here, but that a forum exists for others to connect with my experiences. Whether you are someone heading for conversion, a Jew, Rabbi, non-jew or whatever, that you might find something of value here. While I am focusing primarily on my conversion, I believe all of life's experiences have grander themes and commonalities that we can all share.

Welcome and enjoy.